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Episode 16: Frat House Follies – Part I

Alex had stared at his computer screen with a trance-like intensity when he was interrupted. Alex shook his head to bring himself back to the world. He looked at the ticking timer in the corner of his screen, counting down his productivity in billable units.

79 minutes and 43 seconds.

It was the longest time in Alex’s memory that he had concentrated on a task without distraction. Alex had impressed himself, and a little annoyed that his record had been cut short.  Alex turned around to look at him waltzing into their office with a plastic bag in each hand. It was no wonder Alex had been able to concentrate; Alex had been alone the entire time.

“Where have you been?”

“Just a bit of shopping.”

“This whole time? You’ve been gone for over an hour!”

“Yeah, I needed supplies. No one noticed, did they?”

Alex could hardly be annoyed at him. What did Alex care if he had taken a long lunch? Heck, at least Alex got some uninterrupted work time. Although he had been on a streak, Alex decided he deserved a break and decided to welcome the distraction.

“Supplies huh? What’s kickin’?”

“I’ve got a girl coming.

“Pre-prepared? No prowling for you this weekend then?”

Alex had come to enjoy his office mates tales of trials and titillations. Every story seemed to have surprising twists.

“Nah. My girl is flying over from Melbourne for a few days.”

Your girl?”

“She is this weekend. I met her online.”

“Ah well, sounds like you have it all mapped out.”

He sat down at his desk and rummaged through one of his plastic bags.

“That seems like a lot of supplies for one weekend.”

He rummaged a little longer, pushing between its contents like a swimmer in the reeds, before pulling out a small, white paper bag. He gave it a shake and it gave out a muffled rattle. He looked up at Alex.

“Want a lolly?”

“Awww yeah, mate. What kind?”

“Ohhhh… mix ‘n’ match.”

He put his hand out toward Alex and offered the bag of lollies.  Alex put his hand into the bag and paused with confusion.  Alex felt something hard and pointy. A box. Covered in a film of plastic. A box of gobstoppers? What was it?

Alex looked up to a devilish grin. Alex looked back down at his hand and pulled out the box. Alex shrieked.

“Oh DUDE, come on!”

He giggled.

“Ha ha, got ya!”

Alex looked back at his hand, which was clasping a box of Trojan condoms. Alex blushed and let out a nervous giggle.

“Seriously dude! I really wanted lollies!”

“Anyway… can you give me the condoms back. You can’t have them.”

Alex obediently put the condoms back in the bag and passed them back to him.

“Like I was really going to take your condoms. Ha!”

“Good. I’m going to need them because my girl and I are going to be in bed aaaaaaaaaall weekend.”

“… Right.”

Alex turned back to his desk and tried to get back to work. Alex suspected that the rest of the afternoon would not be as productive as his morning.

This is the Chronicles of Creepy Pants.

Stay tuned for Episode 17: Silly Season

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