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Episode 6: Remember Me

"Good evening, ladies."

It was the end of another hard week and everyone was unwinding over a few drinks in the boardroom.  After an hour the gang became a bit restless in the boardroom so Joan, Tiffany, Asha, Penny, Drew and Alex decided to go across the road to the local for another drink. He came along as well.

After the gang had each bought a drink at the bar, they headed out to the beer garden for some fresh air. As they stepped outside, Penny saw a flash of red at one of the tables to the left. She turned to Tiffany, grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear.

 “Ahhh, Tiff…. Is that…?”

He interrupted.

 “Oh… She’s here again. What do I do?”

Long red hair.  Green sweater.  40-somthing years of age. It was definitely her, although this time she was not drunk.  In fact, she seemed to be having a reasonably civilised time with a group of dowdily dressed ladies in their forties and fifties. Joan tried her best to control the situation.

“Awww mate, she probably hasn’t seen you.  Let’s just find a table.”

Everyone headed to the right and sat at a free table.  However, when they sat down, they realised he was missing.  Drew looked around and spotted him at the other side of the beer garden, about 20 metres away.  It appeared that as they had headed right, he had decided to head to the left.

“What is he doing?!

“Did she see him?”

“No way…”

He was standing at the red-head’s table. His demeanour seemed quite restrained he appeared to be politely saying something to the group of women at the table.  He then made his way around the table and gently shook each of the women’s hands, one by one.

He was introducing himself.  She looked mortified. The gang mirrored her expression as they watched in disbelief.

He lingered at her table for a while longer, exchanged a few more pleasantries, politely nodded and flashed a half-smile, then he walked back to the group.  As he headed back the gang tried to cover their staring by commencing awkward, inane conversations between themselves.

Whilst he was heading back to the group, Alex’s girlfriend, Sophia had joined the group. Unfortunately, Drew and Asha couldn’t get in on this newfound distraction in time and as he somehow managed to intercept them when he returned. He was looking to debrief.

“I thought I should just say hello, you know.”

“Fair enough.”

“She’s a nice lady.  Won’t go there again though.”

“Oh?”

“Yeh, I like to hang out, you know? I like going out and stuff.”

“Of course.”

“I’m not into relationships. I love being single. Are you single?”

Asha and Drew answered in unison.

“No.”

“Yeh, all of my mates don’t hang with me any more because they are all tied down. Have to go home to home to the missus. You know?! Oh man!”

He chortled.  Asha and Drew nervously shared in his laughter.

“So Drew, do you go to the gym through work?”

Asha took this as her cue to discretely turn her back and break into Penny and Tiffany’s conversation. Drew burnt holes in the back of Asha’s head and cursed her name to high hell. Now Drew was  alone with him.

“Yeah.”

“How is it?”

“It’s pretty good.  It’s great that work pays for half of it.”

“That is good. I’ve been thinking about changing. I like my gym though.”

“Yeah?”

“It has a sauna.”

Drew’s heart started to race. Fight or flight. Drew cautiously continued the conversation.

“That’s cool, I guess.”

“It’s great for sweating out all of my toxins.”

“I’ve always found it a bit hard to breath in those rooms.”

” No way. I find them so relaxing. I love laying in the sauna and sweating it out until my toes curl.”

 “…”

Drew tipped his pint back and downed the rest of his drink down his gullet. He tapped Asha on the shoulder.

“Asha, come and get a drink with me?”

Asha helped Drew escape to the bar.  When they returned, they found him deep in conversation with Sophia. She had been ensnared whilst Alex went to the bathroom. Poor Sophia had yet to be warned what she was in for.

After about five minutes of seemingly intense conversation he left Sophia to get a drink at the bar and Sophia returned to the rest of the group. Everyone waited with baited breath to see if she had survived unharmed.

“Sooooo, what do you think of him?”

“He’s…. different.”

“Different?”

“Yeah…”

“How so?”

“Well, when he first came up to me, before even introducing himself, he pointed to some red-headed woman and whispered to me:

You see that girl over there, I shagged her last week.”

This is the Chronicles of Creepy Pants.

Stay tuned for Episode 7: The Game

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